January 2012
10 posts
Mortal Combat
Her 1: oh man I want to DESTROY someone to that song.
Me: Destroy? You're so romantic.
Her 2: damn. You are an annihilator.
Her 1: FINISH HEEEEEER!!!!!!
Braaaains
Her 1: if you put a pussy in front of her face, she'd eat it like a zombie.
Her 2: 28 days later on that bitch.
“I hate motherfuckers that after taking a shit, leave the bathroom door wide...”
– Jasmin
“I thought I loved a stripper once. And then I had a conversation with her.”
– A
“So where do they get the skin for the titties?”
– Jasmin re: tranny hookers with breast implants
“You can tell how fat a bitch is by her elbow meat.”
– A
“Can’t swing a dick in this town without hitting someone that knows...”
– Camille
Chuch. Preach. Tabernacle.
Me: everytime I come here you guys end up trying to get me really drunk. All bad.
Migs: its a bar, baby. Not a church.
December 2011
4 posts
1 tag
October 2011
17 posts
“I would hannibal lector on that thang thang…..”
– Moby
“*takes sip of dark + stormy* blech. This takes like chinese food”
– V
Children of the Night
Me: oh shit. check it out. It's the midget prostitute....
J: the one with all the clothes on?
Me: YEA. they don't make hooker clothes for babies...
Who her?! Gir, you can't depend on them titties.
J
gettin' murried.
Me: look at that. I'm betrothed to someone else that isn't you.
Them: well I'm gonna betroth up in somebody that isn't you...
“I won. But is that really ‘winning’?”
“I eat a LOT of my body.”
– R
Her: what do you think *insert name* number is?
Him: guys or girls? Or combined?
Her: not that number....
“He is nipple wise. But arreola foolish….”
– Mike Brown
Sick in the head....
A: girl this handicapped man just tried to holler at me as I was getting on the bus.
Me: get it gur! you still got it...
A: fuck you. He just mean mugged me as he got off the bus.
Me: I don't know why you turned him down. His dick isn't handicapped. Just his brain.
September 2011
13 posts
“How did music groups go out of style?!”
– A.D.
“Omg. A beautiful woman with a dirty mouth. My Lord….”
– Street Bum. (And thanks)
“Pickpocket”
– We hate decoration pockets.
Eunich-corn
Him: I had a dream I had a boner for so long they had to cut it off.
Me: Yikes!
Him: Could you imagine? I use my penis for all sorts of necessary things.
Me: like buttering toast. And putting out fires.
Him: exactly.
“The problem with your brother is he’s always sleeping with your mother-...”
– SHOW
“I couldn’t take this as a disrespect to my pussy…. But it was...”
“He just text fucked the shit outta her.”
Me: ... And didn't anyone learn a lesson from Da Brat?!
Him: Didn't she kill herself?
Me: haha. No... But she was in prison for a couple years...
Him: but she got fat though, right?
Note to self: Try not to take dry cleaning in the ‘Good Vibrations’ bag. Judgemental looks may follow.
August 2011
32 posts
2 tags
4 tags
1 tag
